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Mama's Page
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HOW MOMS WERE MADE
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" The Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart; and have six pairs of hands." The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!" "And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked. The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head is to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair is here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word." The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I can't!" the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower." The Angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the Angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate." The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything for this one. You even created the tear!" The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you are wrong again, my friend. I created the woman, but she created the tear!"
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IMAGES OF A MOTHER
4 YEARS
OF AGE: My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGE: Naturally,
Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE: Mother?
She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE: That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 YEARS OF AGE: Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 YEARS OF AGE: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 50 YEARS OF AGE: Wonder what my Mom would have thought about it? 55 YEARS OF AGE: Wish
I could talk it over with my Mom.
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I miss you so much, Mama. Oh, how I wish I could talk things over with you now.
Mama and Daddy
L.C. (Chuck)
and Jean Stanfield
Married January
8, 1945
Below is the letter Mama wrote to her friends and family soon after she learned she had terminal cancer in October 2002.
She mailed it to coincide
with Christmas 2002 and their 58th wedding anniversary on Jan. 8, 2003.
The picture shown above was
at the top of the letter so all could remember their youth and love in
the beginning. That love endured for all of those 58 years.
Hello,
We are writing to let those of you we haven't spoken with for a while, as well as those we have, know how things are here with us.
I, Jean, was diagnosed in October 2002 with inoperable cancer. It has been difficult to accept the diagnosis but we have come to realize we must. We have had some rough times but I do have an excellent oncologist team that is working with me to give us as much quality time as possible. Chuck and I have time to be together and with our family and loved ones and to make peace with God.
Kathy is doing as well as can be expected, physically and emotionally. She has been one of life's richest blessings for Chuck and me. She has kept us going even when, sometimes, it felt like we just couldn't go on. I only regret I will be leaving before she makes her final journey. I never really expected to be the first but I will be waiting for her and Chuck with open arms when each one joins me.
Chuck has really had a hard time dealing with this but he is doing well. I probably have taken advantage of him a bit of late but what the heck? I just figured I might as well make the best of it. (I say this with a wink and a smile.)
The picture above is our wedding picture taken right at 58 years ago. In all these years we have had good times and bad, just as everyone does when they embark on the journey of marriage. Would we have changed things? Neither of us would, I'm sure, though we may think, momentarily, we might. However, if we did, our lives wouldn't have been blessed with the children, grand children and great grand children we have nor would we have met you, our friends and other family members, along the way.
Life has had its ups and downs but it has been good and we are grateful.
Please remember us in your prayers as we will remember you and when you think of us, please do so fondly. We are grateful to have had each of you in our lives.
L.C. &
Jean Stanfield
Christmas
with Mama
Written
by
Christine Stanfield
Burkett
to
Friends
December 26,
2002
Some of you may not know but we didn't get to have Thanksgiving with Mama because she was so very sick but we all made up our minds we weren't going to miss Christmas, including her.
She has to undergo intensive
radiation of the brain right now because there are so many brain tumors
and between the tumors and the toll the radiation is taking on her we had
to move our traditional Christmas Eve celebration to Christmas Day (she
had to have a treatment on Christmas Eve at UAB) but that's OK. We did
have our Christmas with Mama and it was so very sweet and loving.
Mother was in bed resting when we arrived, so I went in and gave her a big hug & kiss and proceeded to the kitchen where total chaos reigned. Lisa had cooked the "big bird", gravy & the dressing & crescent rolls and Dale had made his famous broccoli and hash brown casseroles and chocolate fudge. Throw in my chicken casserole, butter beans, fried green beans, baked and fried country ham, 7 layered salad and roasted corn for the meal along with the lemon meringue ice box pie, red velvet cake and pecan pies I had made for desert in a TINY kitchen with 1 way in and 1 way out and 18 folks (1 being Mama and most of the rest in not that great a shape) you can imagine what a mess we had but Mama got up and I brushed her hair and helped her put on some lipstick and her pretty new robe Daddy had given her that morning and with the help of Daddy and her walker she came into the kitchen first (after I threatened to murder a half dozen kids if they didn't get out of her way).
She picked out almost every thing we had prepared to be put on her plate. She only wanted about a teaspoon to a tablespoon of each thing, but by damn, she wanted to sample some of most all of it and she did! (Found out how much she LOVES lemon pie so I will try to make her another one really soon.) We all proceeded to the dining room, the den, the living room, the porch, etc. and had a wonderful meal.
Anyway, after dinner we opened the gifts, took pictures, visited, etc.
Mother
and Daddy had written a lovely letter to give each child, grandchild and
great grandchild and we all had a very special few minutes reading those.
(I hope Lisa takes charge of those letters given to her kids 'cause someday
they will mean a whole lot that they don't right now.)
Russell and his dad left early because Brandon doesn't like to be late getting
home and at 80 years old, who can blame him? He only lives about 25 miles
south of us but he still didn't get home 'til after dark but that was OK
he said, because he got to spend 1 more Christmas with Mother and Daddy.
Lisa and Barbara and Jenny did most of the clean up after all the festivities,
for which I will be forever grateful. I mostly just visited with Mother,
Daddy, Kathy and my brother and remembered Christmases past.
Mother
had gotten really tired and had to go back to bed but thank goodness she
has a king sized bed because I and Brian, Barbara and Jenny were all piled
up in the bed with her at times. Brian & Jenny got to spend a few minutes
alone with Mother during which time, Brian, on his knee on the floor, holding
Jenny's and Mother's hands, almost proposed to Jenny, it seemed to Mother.
He really did to some extent but he never got around to saying the words,
“Jenny, will you marry me?” (He didn't have a ring) but it was close enough
that Mama felt very honored.
So --- this is the story of our last Christmas
with Mama. It was so precious and one
none of us will ever forget. She is back in B'ham tonight after having another
radiation treatment today and she'll have 1 tomorrow. She'll have 2 more
weeks of this and hopefully, her brain tumors will be arrested enough that
the tumors in the rest of her body will take her home to God before her mind
is destroyed and she can go with her sweet memories of her last Christmas
with us and be alert enough to say her good-byes to us when the time comes.
I told her she hadn't spoiled anything. She had given us so many precious memories. I told her I was sure that was why God had given us the time he did. He wanted us to store up as many memories as we could and that was what we had been busy doing. I could only thank her and God for those special times and be forever grateful for them. Those last few months were so wonderful and so precious even if they were so very sad.
I hope Mama felt how special they were as much as we did. In the end, it was hard to know if she really understood how much those last few months meant to us or not. The brain tumors did return and they did wreak havoc on her but on Friday before she died on Sunday, I truly believe she knew how much I loved her and would miss her. Dear Lord, I pray she did.
Published April 14, 2003
Chilton County
News
and
Prattville
Progress
(Both are Alabama
Newspapers)
Burial will follow at Oak Hill Cemetery in Attalla. Born on March 18, 1932 to Joseph J. Simpson and Mamie Williams Simpson of Florida, she died Sunday, April 13, 2003 at her home.
Survivors include her husband, L.C. Stanfield, of Billingsley; son L. Charles (Bonnie) Stanfield of Hope Hull; daughters Christine (Russell) Burkett of Davenport and Kathryn Stanfield of Billingsley; brother Joseph C. Simpson of Toledo, Ohio; sisters Judy (Jack) Willoughby of Scottsboro and Dolores Jones of Ocean Springs, Miss.; four grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.
L.C. (Chuck), Kathryn and Jean Stanfield
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